planning the incredible journey
Deana Carter - Strawberry Wine-- St. Augustine
Updated 43 things Updated big 30
I finally finished my exams on 23rd June, and now I'm so glad to have time for a rest that I've been making the most of it. This means I haven't been up to a great deal, other than seeing friends, catching up with Daddy and working over the weekends. Over the past couple of days, the more frequent visitors among you will have noticed that I have been tinkering here and there, but nothing major. To be honest, there's not much that needed doing.Another reason I've not been updating is due to despair.nu being down, but the fabulous naco is working very hard to get it working again so I've been trying to stay patient.
Leaving college was kinda weird. How do you explain your feelings when you leave a place that's been your regular point of call for three years? It wasn't like school - school was hell. I was relieved to graduate back then; now, I feel slightly scared about what lies ahead of me.
Although I had difficulty in many respects, I had a largely happy time at college and my A Level syllabus coincided with the three hardest years of my life. I was cheated on and abused by an absolute shithead of an ex-boyfriend. I was having problems at home as I didn't get along well with my mother (who was herself in an abusive relationship with a psychopathic tosser who lived in our house) and my brother was angry all the time because he didn't like, or understand, what was happening. Career-wise, I had no real idea what on earth I was supposed to do. I lost relatives and the best friend I ever had. I became depressed and even resorted to hurting myself. My self-esteem was in total ruin and I am still trying to recover from the full extent of it. I'm not 100% fine yet, but I feel so much better. I think that without those people there to keep me sane, I dread to think where I'd be now. I know those events don't sound like much, but when you're as otherwise sheltered as I am they come as a bit of a shock. I guess those three years helped me grow from a girl into a woman. I'm by no means jaded; I've managed to retain a suitable degree of innocence and trust in spite of it all, but these really have been defining years for me and I have learned a hell of a lot.
During those three years, college was not only a sanctuary but also a place of learning beyond anything academic - I developed and blossomed into an adult, made lifelong friends, and found a purpose in life. I can't thank them enough for helping me do that.
Anyway, the day that I leave for China draws ever closer. In seven weeks' time, my mother will be driving me to heathrow airport and I'll be saying goodbye to everyone.
Due to recent Chinese visa legislation meaning that I now have to provide proof of a return journey to England, I am having to plan this sooner than I'd previously expected to. As I originally wanted, I am taking the trans-siberian railway back from beijing to tallinn, via ulan bator, irkutsk, listvyanka, ekaterinberg, moscow and st. petersburg. On my journey, I'll be stopping over in areas of interest and absorbing the local culture. I'm then flying back to London from Tallinn. Five countries, just over two weeks. Awesome, huh?
On a side note, Mum just got a new job!
She's now going to be the Theatre Manager at great ormond street hospital for children. I'm so proud of her!
| Update by Sarah @ 01:45, Thu. July 10 2008 |
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